Why 'I' will marry and still be a feminist.

Guy: Hey, I was just wondering that since you told me that you are a feminist, would you marry or go against the oppressive structure like the institute of marriage? I don't mean to invade your personal space but was looking to know the opinion of Indian feminists on this issue.

Me: Assumption two busted. Marriage is awesome. These so called pseudo feminists made it look like a sin or as a hurdle to women emancipation. Marriage is just another phase where a man helps out a woman and a woman helps out a man in all the issues. See Sheryl Sandberg’s recent post when her husband expired. It is men that stand by successful women particularly, understanding husbands. I look forward to marry a guy in all my enthusiasm. Because, marriage and Indian value that is attached to it is priceless
Yeah, I have my modifications. No dowry. No obligation on the man for absolute financial security!!

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Having said that befitting reply, I was so mentally traumatized at the confusion this pseudofeminists choking upon genuine, concerned males. This isn’t the first time either, whenever I do something unconventional or remarkably good, such a conversation pops up from one of my inner core people who think this new success has radicalized my thought process. Not their fault, at all. Thank the Indian media. It is awesome in it’s own way.

What do you I think a feminist is? Pretty simple. Who believes in equality and that gender shouldn’t be an selective option creator. Got bags to carry, do it on my own. Went to a restaurant, pay my half. Love a guy, tell it first not waiting for him to. Or seeing an oppression, break it myself. It’s that unsophisticated. Ofcourse, I am not denying the social stereotypes that come along as a baggage. Who gives a damn? The end. All my feminist friends do the same. It is normal for us. And that gold digger category doesn't represent us nor gains our empathy. Clearly. 

And, most importantly, this DOESNT include male bashing. I know there are creepos out there making the basic survival for my gender impossible. But it is the same gender that empowers us. My dad, my brother, my cousins, my best friends, my teachers, my mentors, my colleagues. And don’t start being all cynical that I being fortunate, got a good company. Good men are all around us. We just make them bad by demeaning their good intentions. Viceversa.

And marriage? It’s an institution. But, conditions apply. Like anything. Should be one's informed choice.  And I believe, it remains to be a private affair just celebrated as a public affair. Yes, there is a lot of pressure on us because of this, but that doesn’t negate its beauty. The way a family is built on this foundation is just wonderful. It’s not a necessary condition, for obvious reasons, but that doesn’t either become an obsolete social setup for the bashing it gets. I, personally, any day would vouch for marriage. Because I like it. I want my kids to understand the exquisiteness of a closely woven family, the way I understood it. Wow. How ironical, It’s my choice and it should be so, one's individual choice. But hey, it is not negatively impacting anyone, so it's fair. 

Internet is doing more harm than good in this aspect. Because, one misguided fellow puts up a thought online and the clueless mob follow that , like a fad to gain social recognition. The destruction of genuine ideology in this process is mind boggling. The first thing that tops my vexation trigger is that Vogue Empower video. Sorry, I am not going to rant about that again. It was straight stupid. Thought of projecting a great idea, ended up creating an counter effect. Pity.

Men are not dogs. And obviously, women are not bitches. So, dear ladies, treat fellow men with the dignity we expect and treat the chauvinists with the punishment their abusive behaviour demands. Not that you don't know this already, all I am asking you to be is to express. Just don’t remain mute on this issue. And my dear gentle and non gentle men, treat the women like they are. No flowery patronage needed. Give the momentum to the equality that is yet to be dawned. And be particular about not swearing. All those slang words are just re-iterating this problem in an unimaginable way.

And the big statement. Stop generalizing. It’s doing no good. Forget the good, its destroying lives out there. So, stay free. Make your opinions, stand by them and don’t roam around hurting people’s emotions. Have a great life ahead folks !

P.S. No ma, not ready for marriage yet :p 3 more years, atleast. Yey, I know you will wait. Thank you !